


Maybe It's Him

by CrackieMax694



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: 2020 World Juniors, Buffalo Sabres, Coming Out, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Gen, Hockey, Hockey AU, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Junior Hockey, M/M, Memorial Cup, Multi, NHL, Supportive Teammates, Trust Issues, World Juniors, draft, m/m - Freeform, slow burn (?), teammates, they're gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-19 10:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22342609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrackieMax694/pseuds/CrackieMax694
Summary: Growing up on the same street and playing for the same teams with the exception of the two years they each spent in the WHL before the draft doesn't make things easy for Dylan and Spencer, especially when word gets out about the latter's sexuality. All seems well and the two barely speak until they're both selected by the Buffalo Sabres and Spencer gets traded to Dylan's junior team, the Lethbridge Hurricanes.
Relationships: Background M/M - Relationship, Dylan Cozen/OC, Dylan Cozens/Original Male Character, Jack Eichel/Connor McDavid
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just going to give anybody who reads this a quick heads up - 
> 
> This story likely won't exceed 15 chapters, and updates will be sporadic at best. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

Prologue

“Outta the way, fag,” Jared grumbled as he pushed past Spencer into the locker room. Everything had been fine until that stupid party where Spencer made the mistake of kissing some random kid, who in his defence was hot, in front of more than a few people. To the surprise of absolutely no one, the word eventually made its way to his teammates, who being the mature, hormonal teenage boys they were, took it pretty well, well if you consider being spat at, shoved and hazed with almost no end. The only exception to this ritual was Dylan. Living on the same street and playing for the same clubs during the majority of their junior career, the two quickly became friends as did their parents. They took turns driving the other to practice and frequently spent time off the ice playing either street hockey or skating around at the community rink. Unfortunately, after the news got out of Spencer’s sexuality, Dylan distanced himself, and while he didn’t partake in the hazing, he also wouldn’t do anything to interject or stop it.

Without the knowledge of the events that transpired, their parents continued to take turns driving the two to practice, meaning they would arrive at the same time. The two had almost come to a silent agreement that one would distance themselves from the other so as to prevent the appearance that they were friends. In a way, this was harder for Spencer than telling his parents and driving alone, but something within him prevented him from saying the three simple words whenever he’d be around his parents, so Dylan and his pre-practice/game ritual continued; However, it didn’t take long for one of their teammates to notice, which in turn shifted some of the attention to Dylan.

“Hey freak,” Tyler said as he walked towards Spencer who was grabbing his stick from atop his bag. Knowing what was coming, Spencer turned around to face his teammate. 

“What?” He said mustering up the nicest voice possible.

“Goalies go first.” Spencer sighed and lead the way out of the locker room and onto the ice, but as he was about to step foot onto the rink he was shoved and fell face-first onto the cold surface. Despite the only spectators being the family and friends of the players, it was still a humiliating moment.

———

In the two years leading up the WHL draft, though the slurs and other ‘punishments’ continued, he and Dylan began talking again, and although they weren’t nearly as close as before, it was nice for Spencer to have someone who he could at least somewhat trust. However, this was soon to be cut short as they sat in a small, musty room eager to hear a team call their names in the draft. Dylan was selected early, in the first round 19th overall the Lethbridge Hurricanes, and it wasn’t until a couple rounds later that Spencer heard his name called.

“The Regina Pats select with the 107th pick, goaltender Spencer Hathaway.” 

After that, the two rarely saw each other apart from when their families would have the rare get-together during the offseason. 

———

Chapter 1 - Dylan

During the two years he spent with the Hurricanes leading up to the draft, Spencer had rarely crossed his mind, and Dylan was thankful for that, he already had enough to think about. In the days leading up to the draft, mainly the combine, Dylan was thankful to have only spotted his former friend a few times all of which he was able to avoid eye contact, and therefore any conversation that would sprout from that. He thought that he was in the clear until the day of the draft. His nerves were crazy despite knowing he was going to get drafted, from what the scouts said, maybe even a top ten pick. When Buffalo called his name he was able to breathe a sigh of relief, even if only for a while. During the interviews that followed he was able to get a moment of silence in which he was able to hear something that made his stomach flip, when really, it shouldn’t have. A man over the speakers spoke,

“The Buffalo Sabres are proud to select with the 13th overall pick the 2019 NHL entry draft, from the Regina Pats, goaltender Spencer Hathaway.”

———

It didn’t take long for them to meet in an interview, everybody loved their story, growing up on the same street, playing for the same teams, and eventually getting drafted to the same NHL team. The two put on a mask and pretended that they were still the best of friends and that they’d never stopped talking, because none the journals and TV networks knew that they had in fact stopped talking or that Dylan’s ‘friend’ was gay. Regardless of all this, they didn’t actually have the time to talk much until training camp.

———

As he stepped onto the ice, Dylan noticed Spencer over by the net stretching and preparing for the game to come and Dylan decided this would be as good a time as any to kill the tension and talk to his new teammate. 

“Hey… Spencer.” He sputtered out. Confused, Spencer looked up, and upon realizing who was talking to him, his face almost appeared to soften. A small smile crept on his face as he stood up and spoke, 

“Hi, Dylan, long-time no see.” Dylan relaxed at the casual tone the conversation seemed to take and replied to Spencer.

“Yeah, sorry about that… I probably should’ve tried harder to keep in touch.” Spencer chuckled at his words.   
“Don’t sweat it, it’s on both of us. Anyway, how have things shaped up for you so far? Do they think you’ll be able to join the league this year?” Dylan sighed.

“The chances are slim, but I’m grateful for that. I don’t think I’d be ready to step in and play the role Buffalo would need me to this year. I’m going to be happy when I’m back with the guys in Lethbridge, they’ve kinda become a second family to me throughout these past couple of years.” Spencer nodded in agreement before replying to Dylan.

“I know what you mean, I can’t wait to go back to Regina and hopefully help ‘em qualify for the playoffs again.” He sighed before continuing, “The guys there are a lot better than they were back in Whitehorse. Most of them don’t even care, and the ones who do are mature enough to hold their tongues and keep their thoughts to themselves.” Before he could reply, the whistle blew signalling the start of a few games in which the coaches would be able to see how each of their new draft picks and other prospects play with each other and just in general. Dylan was going to say something anyway, but Spencer gave him a sly grin and told him to head to the circle before heading to the net. 

———

Ten games into the season and the Hurricanes were already proving to be a force within the league. Dylan was asleep in his hotel room when he was awoken by his phone which was being bombarded with notifications. He rubbed his eyes before reaching over and looking at the notifications which now appeared to be messages from the team group chat. Groggily, Dylan typed a message before quickly sending it.

Me:  
Why are you guys on this right now? It’s 6:00 in the morning!

Ty:I don’t get it, he was playing so well! Why would management do this?

Jonesy:  
I’m with you, I don’t understand either.

Nasher:  
Oh hey Dylan… I guess someone needs to break the news to you now…

Me:  
What news? What’s going on?

Captain Calen:  
They traded Tetesy.

Me:  
What? For Who?

Thommy:  
Some kid from Regina.

Davis:  
Yeah, Hathaway I think.

Ty:  
Oh yeah! That’s right! Hey Dyl, didn’t you play with him before you came here?

Nasher:  
Haha yeah, he got drafted by the Sabres too, didn’t he?

Without responding, Dylan turned his phone to silence mode and rolled back over not wanting the believe their words, but he knew they were true. Despite trying his hardest, Dylan was unable to fall back to sleep as his stomach was twisted the same way it was when he heard Spencer’s name get called by Buffalo too.


	2. chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Dylan

He made his way groggily to practice in the morning, and despite being up early, Dylan found that as he stepped into the locker room he was among the last to arrive. It took him longer than he’d admit to suit up, but if anyone asked, he had the valid excuse of a rough sleep to back him up. He’d nearly forgotten about the trade until he made his way onto the ice. Spencer had always stuck out like a sore thumb with his sandy hair which always seemed to be unkempt and his piercing blue eyes which proved to be a stark contrast to the brown hair and brown eyes Dylan found himself surrounded with during numerous practices and games alike. It took Calen skating up and nudging him to shake Dylan out of the trance he had unknowingly fallen victim to.

“Are you going to go talk to him or just stare?” His captain asked with a glint of mischief in his eyes. Dylan sighed before giving a barely comprehensible reply and skating towards Spencer. As if on queue, the team's latest addition turned to face Dylan and his face lit up upon seeing a familiar face. 

“Hey, Spencer,” Dylan spoke as if unsure what to say next. “How was your trip here?” He finally asked.

“Not too bad, our next game was just over in Medicine Hat, so the drive only took a couple of hours.” He chuckled before continuing, “You never expect that you’re going to be the one that pops up on the screen after a trade, but I guess it is what it is. And anyway, this seems like a good group of guys.” Dylan wanted to say something to his friend other than ‘Sorry’ or other things of the like, but whenever he was around Spencer he lost all train of thought and was unable to be articulate about, well, anything. He looked over and noticed coach stepping onto the ice and opted to say the most truthful thing.

“I’m glad management traded for you, I think you may be the missing piece for us to make a deep playoff run.” With that and a smile one Spencer’s face, Dylan made his way over to their coach who had just blown the whistle beckoning everyone in.

— — —

Practice went really well and most of the guys seemed to take a liking to their latest addition, which if he was being truthful, didn’t surprise Dylan in the least. When he finally made his way into the locker room after having a few words with the coaching staff, he found almost all of the guys zeroed in on Spencer and what he was saying. Upon noticing his entrance, Ty piped up and was quick to inform Dylan what was going on,

“Oh, Dylan, Spencer was just telling us about the time you guys were playing street hockey and you sent the puck flying straight trough your old neighbour’s windshield.” Dylan cringed at the memory before he too became transfixed on what Spencer had to say.

*Flashback*

It was a hot afternoon in mid-July, and after being summoned for some lemonade, Dylan and Spencer wasted no time heading back outside to continue their tournament. Despite being a goalie, Spencer swore up and down that he had the better shot and challenged Dylan to a quick shootout. Not being one to back down from a challenge, Dylan eagerly accepted. A few minutes in, after Spencer fired a slap shot into the back of the net, Dylan followed suit, only to his dismay, the puck sailed right past the net and into the windshield of Mr. Whitman’s new car. The two were quick to flee the scene, but due to the evidence they left, both Spencer and Dylan spent the next month doing different chores for Mr. Whitman to pay off their debt. 

*End*

Despite the month which seemed to last forever, it was a somewhat fond memory for Dylan as it only seemed to strengthen the bond the two had when they were younger; however, it also filled Dylan with remorse as to the way things turned out after that fateful night at the party which though it shouldn’t have, tore apart their relationship. Looking back on that, he was thankful that Spencer decided to forgive him even though he didn’t feel as if he deserved it. 

— — —

When he arrived back to his house, he checked to see if anyone was home, and upon discovering that nobody was, Dylan wasted no time throwing himself down on the couch and immersing himself in a few games of NHL 20. After an hour, Dylan felt his phone vibrate and looked over to see a new message from Spencer.

Spencer:  
Hey, are you up to anything atm?

Me:  
Not really, why?

Spencer:  
I think I should probably get to know Lethbridge as it’s going to be my new home for at least a year, but I don’t really have anyone to show me around :(.

Me:  
What a shame! If only you knew somebody who’s lived here for the past couple of years and was willing to show you around.

Spencer:  
If only I did… It would be a miracle.

Me:  
You know what, come to think of it, I may actually know someone who’d be able to help you…

Spencer:  
Really? Would you be able to give me his address so I could swing by and maybe get a tour?

Me:  
I don’t know… He’s kind of busy right now…

Spencer:  
Is that so?

Me:  
Yes ;)

Spencer:  
Might I ask what he’s doing?

Me:  
Playing a very serious game of chel.

Spencer:  
Ah, I see. I wouldn’t want to interrupt that.

Me:  
Hahaha no.

Me:  
Here’s my address - you can ‘swing by’ in an hourish if you’d like.

Spencer:  
Great, thanks. I’ll see you soon.

Me:  
Bye.

Spencer:  
Bye.

Dylan put down his phone with an ear to ear grin and hurried to his room to get some new clothes on and shower. The thought of spending some time alone with Spencer filled him with butterflies, but he just brushed that off as it being a while since just the two of them have hung out. Regardless of the reason, the hour leading up to Spencer’s arrival seemed to take an eternity, and when the doorbell rang Dylan was unusually giddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all may have to wait a bit for the next chapter as I want it to be gooood ;) ;) ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Dylan

Filled with childlike giddy excitement, Dylan practically flew to the door. When he opened it, he was greeted by Spencer in his new Lethbridge Hurricanes hoodie and a toque which covered his messy blond hair. Dylan quickly caught hold of himself and stopped staring before stepping aside and allowing his guest entrance. Spencer took a moment to look around before speaking,

“Where is everyone?” He questioned. Once more, Dylan had to shake himself out of whatever trance he was in before speaking.

“Oh, Brian’s at work, Stacy’s running errands, and their kids are at school.” Spencer just nodded along. “Do you want to hang out here for a bit and have a drink or do that later and go on the tour while it’s still mostly light out?” Spencer took a moment to consider his options before replying.

“Um… Let’s do the tour now and come back here after and talk for a bit.” 

— — —

If you weren’t a university student or didn’t enjoy clubbing, there wasn’t much to due in Lethbridge, but in the past two years he’d spent here, Dylan had managed to find a couple of little gems. They went to a small café before heading to one of Dylan’s go-to place which was a small burger shack near the university. Once receiving their orders, the two made their way back to the car before once again driving away. This time, Dylan started towards the lake. After arriving, aside from the soft hum of the music emitted from the radio, the two ate in silence. Normally, this was something Dylan would hate, but with Spencer it was comfortable, everything they’d done so far was just comfortable. 

After they finished off the last little bit of their meal, Spencer was the first to break the silence.

“Do you want to get out and walk around for a bit? Y’know, just before we have to head back?” It didn’t take much thought for Dylan to reply with a ‘yes’, and soon they were on the shore of a small but crystal clear lake. It was mid-October, and the cool autumn air nipped at Dylan’s cheeks and fingers, in an attempt to vanquish the cold, he snuck his hands into his pockets and started walking along the shore with Spencer following suit.

“It’s beautiful out here,” Spencer said with traces of awe lingering in his voice. Dylan smiled and looked around before he too spoke.

“Yeah. You should wait until winter when the lake’s frozen over, whenever I need to think I bring my skates and come here. It has this sort of serene beauty in the winter.” Dylan didn’t look, but he knew Spencer was smiling.

“I bet. We’ll have to go sometime and bring back our old… ‘tournaments’ if you could even call him that.” Both of them let out a chuckle at that statement thinking back on the countless hours they spent trying to one-up the other in some form or another. They were both competitive, but their games were always fun and they both improved because of it. Spencer stopped for a moment before turning to face his companion.

“Y’know, Dylan, I never really got to thank you…” Dylan was confused as he turned to face Spencer.

“Thank me for what?” He questioned. Spencer sighed before replying,

“Thank you for not being a complete dick to me after, well after y’know,” 

“Spencer,” He paused before continuing, “I was a shitty friend, I wasn’t really there for you in a time when you probably need me the most… you shouldn’t be thanking me.” 

“No, you’re wrong. I thought about quitting a lot after that, but because you didn’t join in on all the name-calling and shoving, because we’d still exchange a smile from time and you’d always come to tap my pads and congratulate me after a win or big save, I decided to stick with it. It was because of you not being a complete ass hat like all the other kids on the team that I didn’t quit. Even though we drifted, you had a bigger impact than I think you know.” Dylan was about to reply, but Spencer cut him off. “I know you feel like a dick after all that went down, but you don’t have to, I was never upset with you, I never could be.” At a loss for words, Dylan did all he could think to do and pulled his friend into a tight embrace. He didn’t know long they’d been standing there like that, but eventually, Spencer pulled away. Almost immediately, the cold latched back on to Dylan’s skin and he wanted nothing more than to pull Spencer back and just hold onto him like that forever, but he knew he couldn’t, so he just accepted defeat and made his way back to the car with Spencer.

———

In the car, they decided to just call it a night, and Dylan offered to drive Spencer home, which he gladly accepted. The drive back was too short, and before he knew it, Dylan was parked outside Spencer’s billet family’s house getting ready to say goodbye. After walking him to the door, Dylan turned to Spencer and spoke.

“I had a lot of fun tonight, we need to do it again sometime.” Spencer smiled before he responded.

“Yeah, me too. Thanks for showing me around.” With an awkward pat on his friend’s shoulder, Spencer made his way inside and out of Dylan’s sight. He felt weightless as he glided to his car, and while driving home, Dylan was unable to wipe the big stupid smile from his face. 

When he walked in the door, he only stopped briefly to talk to his billet family before bounding down the stairs and into his room. He fell effortlessly back into bed and with almost no trouble, closed his eyes and drifted into a peaceful slumber.

———

Dylan awoke to a knocking at his door. Slowly, he sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before looking over to the window. ‘That’s odd,’ he thought, ‘it’s still dark out.’ Without giving it much more thought, he walked over to his bedroom door and opened it. Waiting on the other side was Spencer, who looked effortlessly good with a pair of black sweatpants and a tight grey t-shirt. Caught off guard and unable to think of anything to say, Spencer was the first to speak.

“When I got home I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” His voice was low and husky as if he too had just awoken. Spencer slowly brought his hand up and caressed the side of Dylan’s face so light he could barely even feel it. Dylan gulped before going to speak.

“Spencer, I-.” He was cut off by a finger pressed firmly to his lips. Again, Spencer started to speak.

“There’s something I’ve never told you, Dylan. Something I’ve never told anyone.” 

“What- what is it?” Dylan barely managed to choke out. Without another word, Spencer closed the distance between them that had been rapidly been decreasing since Dylan first opened the door. The kiss started off slow, but eventually, the pace picked up and turned into something more desperate and animalistic, Dylan thought it was one of the best things he’d ever felt. In one swift motion, Spencer managed to close the door and carry Dylan over to the bed. Once lying down, Spencer pinned Dylan’s hand above his head and reconnected their lips. This time, his tongue slid across Dylan’s lip asking, no, begging for entry which was eagerly granted. For a time, their tongues battled for dominance, until Dylan did something that surprised the both of them, flipped Spencer over so that he was on top.

Spencer sat up and began desperately clawing away at Dylan’s shirt which he took off before doing the same himself. For a second, Dylan took the time to admire the beautifully sculpted body of the man below him before continuing where he left off. Eventually, as his confidence grew, Dylan began making his way down Spencer’s body paying special attention to his neck where he left numerous red marks, which without a doubt, would still be there come their next game. When he made it to Spencer’s waist, he spent no time pulling down his pants and going to work. His ears became attuned to every noise Spencer made, and ever so often he’d look up and admire what was before him. Soon, he felt Spencer tense up and cry out his name,

“Dylan, fuck, I-.” 

He shot awake to the sound of Stacey knocking on his door.

“Dylan! It’s Sunday, can you please put on a load of laundry?” He groaned in response before rolling over and getting up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowza! two updates in a day.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Dylan

The first thing he noticed when he got up was the thin layer of sweat that covered his whole body, and the second was, well when he looked down a more pressing matter. He hurried to the shower where he hopped in, and in an attempt to get his mind off of his dream, he blasted some music. 

———

It had been a little over a month after the… dream, and despite the success of the Hurricanes, Dylan was still unable to get his mind off it and decided it would be best to seek help and talk to somebody, so almost without thinking, he pulled out his phone and texted Calen. 

Me:  
Hey man, I was wondering if I could maybe stop by and talk for a bit…

Calen:  
For sure, I’m just finishing up at the gym. 

Calen:  
How does 12:00 sound?

Dylan quickly checked the time before typing in a reply.

Me:  
Sounds good. See you in 20.

He quickly threw on his Hockey Canada hoodie before grabbing the keys and hurrying out to the car. 

———

Once seated comfortably in Calen’s room, Dylan started to speak,

“Okay… So I’ve been having these dreams…” Calen was listening intently, and upon realizing that his friend wasn’t going to continue, he piped up and spoke,

“What type of dream?” He asked though Dylan had a feeling Calen already had an idea as to what the dreams were about.

“They’re um… they’re- they have been about this certain person.” He paused to regain himself before continuing. “They’re not, well they’re not particularly… PG…” While he was saying all this, Calen struggled to keep a straight face.

“Okay, I see… Do you mind telling me who they’re about?” Dylan contemplated for a second before he replied.

“Um… They involve someone who we both know.” Calen nodded at his response.

“Do you see these dreams as an issue?” Again, Dylan stopped to think before he gave a response.

“I mean kinda, but I don’t really know.” 

“Hmm… Well, how long have they been going on? When did you start liking this person?” 

*Flashback*

Dylan made his way into the Hathaway’s backyard slowly. He knew that Spencer would be there, and part of him was dreading having to put on yet another façade in front of their parents. It had been like that ever since the incident, and Dylan doubted that Spencer had even told his parents about his sexuality. However, all of his thoughts were quickly interrupted when he walked through the gate and spotted Spencer. To say that he had changed over the past 10 months would be an understatement, the scrawny boy who Dylan had known since he was a small child was nearly unrecognizable. To start things off, he’d grown a few inches and had to at least be 6’2, which was still shorter than Dylan, but he was sure he’d grow. His messy blond hair had been cut and now was slicked back with water as he climbed out of the pool. Spencer’s face was mostly the same with the exception of his jaw becoming more defined and eyebrows growing thicker, but perhaps the biggest difference was how his back, stomach, chest, legs, arms, his whole body were now incredibly well built and toned. Dylan couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight in front of him. 

Had he been a girl, there would have been little to stop Dylan from latching onto Spencer and never letting go, but he was a guy, and unlike Spencer, He wasn’t gay, well at least he didn’t think was. 

*End*

Dylan did his best to muster up a lie before giving Calen his eagerly awaited answer.

“Not very long ago, and it’ll probably pass soon, that’s how most things like this turn out, right?” The captain gave a halfhearted agreement before Dylan thanked him and left. 

———

For a while, Dylan just drove whilst lost in his thoughts. Eventually, he found himself at the lake which had now frozen over walking along the shore trying the process everything he’d just learned. Maybe learned wasn’t the right word, I think deep within he’d always known but was just unwilling to acknowledge or accept it. Even now, he couldn’t put words to it, just simply opting the give it as little attention as possible in hopes that it would go away. However, Dylan knew he needed to stop doing this, because though feelings may fade, one’s sexuality typically doesn’t, so why not try and face the problem head-on, and address the ‘issue’. 

He was definitely aware that he felt some sort of way about Spencer, and that he had for some time, but Dylan wasn’t sure what he was going to about said feelings. Of course, most people would just suggest that Dylan confess his feelings to Spencer, but that was way out of the question. Maybe if he’d done what he’d been doing for the past god knows how many years, the feelings would go away like they initially had. Dylan quickly pushed that thought out of mind as it would be significantly harder to do seeing as he saw Spencer almost every day now. Part of him cursed the damned trade, but the other part of him was eternally grateful that it had brought the two of them together before they both made the Sabres’ roster. 

The longer he walked and the more he thought about it, the more Dylan sort of came to terms with things, he had feelings for Spencer, and he had for a long time. The more pressing matter was his sexuality and the thought that he clearly wasn’t as straight as he thought he was. Dylan wanted nothing more than to talk to somebody about this, and sure he’d spoken to Calen, but he wouldn’t understand, the guy was as straight as a ruler. Come to think of it, the only person Dylan really knew who would get it was… Spencer. Maybe calling or texting him wouldn’t be the worst idea, Dylan wouldn’t have even had to mention that it was Spencer who had caused this sexual awakening, and he’d probably benefit from it. After contemplating the thought for a few seconds, Dylan pulled out his phone and sent a text to Spencer.

Me:  
Hey, wanna go to the lake with me for a bit?

Spencer:  
Sure. Is there already a new out there or should I bring one?

Dylan stopped briefly to survey his surroundings and upon noticing that there was a net, he replied to Spencer. They sent a few texts back and forth before they decided to meet up later that night, giving Dylan enough time to head home shower, change and grab his stick and skates before hurrying back to the lake. 

———

When he arrived, Spencer’s car was already parked, and Dylan noticed that his friend was out shovelling off a big enough section for them to skate. Dylan put his skates on before he headed over to help Spencer.


	5. Chapter 5

After a few minutes, the two had cleared a big enough area to play, so they threw a couple of pucks onto the ice and started a game; however, before things got too heated within their little game, Dylan decided to speak up.

“Spencer, can I ask you something?” When Spencer turned to face him, everything surrounding them seemed to fade out.

“Yeah, of course… You can ask me anything at any time.” There was a certain sincerity in his voice that reassured Dylan that his words were true.

“How’d you… how’d you know you were gay?” Spencer seemed taken aback by the question, but after taking some time to carefully contemplate his words he replied.

“Well, I looked at a guy and thought, ‘I’d fuck that,’ I was seven.” Spencer was unable to maintain his composure, and soon he had an ear to ear grin across his face. Playfully, Dylan nudged him before once again turning serious. “If I’m being honest, I think I kinda always knew, but the first time I was able to put words to it was probably in grade seven. I couldn’t stop staring at Alex Crawford, and I’d have these dreams and fantasies about him. Eventually, I realized that guys typically don’t think about other guys like that and was kinda like, ‘Oh shit, I guess I’m gay.’ That’s kinda how it all went down… Why are you asking? Are you gay?” He knew that Spencer was joking, but Dylan felt like he’d just been punched in the stomach, and something in his face must have changed too because Spencer noticed and was quick to inform him that it was just a joke. The subject changes and they talked for a bit longer before the real fun began.

Somehow, just shooting and passing the puck back and forth turned into a high-speed game of one on one hockey. Dylan had managed to knock the puck free of Spencer’s stick and the two of them were skating as fast as they could to reach the puck. He was the first to the puck, but before realizing he needed to stop, it was too late and Dylan flew over the edge and into the deep snow with Spencer following soon after. The two of them burst out laughing and somehow ended up in an intense wrestling match for the puck, though no matter who won, it wouldn’t matter as both had lost their sticks. After maybe a minute more of their battle, Spencer lost his footing and fell further down the mound of snow while bringing Dylan with him. The result of them falling was Dylan underneath Spencer still laughing.

The moment they spent like that seemed to last an eternity, and Spencer was grateful, he didn’t want it to end, ever. Spencer on top of him, their eyes locked, the smile on Spencer’s face fading and his eyes turning darker causing a flush to creep onto Dylan’s cheeks. For a while, they just stayed there like that, gazing at the other almost longingly until Spencer licked his lips and started to close the distance between them. Dylan had closed his eyes and was ready for a kiss, but a sudden ringing from Spencer’s phone brought them back to reality, and soon the two boys were back on their feet. 

Quickly, Spencer skated away to answer the call, and Dylan was left unable to speak or even think straight, all he could do was slowly make his way over and pick up his stick. Dylan couldn’t focus or make a single shot, and he didn’t know if it was because of what had just transpired between Spencer and him, or if he was trying so hard to overhear the conversation the goalie was having on the phone. Regardless of what was distracting him, Spencer soon skated over and informed Dylan that he had to leave, and the latter couldn’t decide if he was relieved or devastated. Anyway, the two said their goodbyes and headed their separate ways for the time being. 

———

For the entirety of the trip home, Dylan couldn’t stop thinking about their almost what he thought would have been a kiss, and when he got back, despite talking to his billet family and doing everything else in his power to get it off his mind, he was unable to. Later that night when Dylan was lying in bed trying to sleep, whenever he’d close his eyes, his thoughts would drift to Spencer, and it wasn’t just their almost kiss, but it was everything that had to do with Spencer. Maybe after an hour of tossing and turning, Dylan got a horrible idea that could maybe put an end to whatever this was, he was going to Spencer’s place. Even if Spencer rejected him, at least it would hopefully give Dylan an answer and he’d be able to move on. 

As Dylan walked up to Spencer’s billet’s house his stomach was full of butterflies, and he couldn’t wipe a stupid smile off of his face. With confidence he didn’t know he had, Dylan strode up to the door and placed three hard knocks in the middle of the wood. Within seconds, the door swung open and Spencer’s billet mother (so to speak) was waiting on the other side. Upon realizing who was there, a look of surprise crossed her face before she spoke.

“Oh, Dylan, I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” He smiled at her remark before giving a reply.

“Yeah, I wasn’t really planning on coming in the first place, but Spencer and I need to talk before we leave for the road trip tomorrow.” She nodded and stepped aside allowing Dylan entrance to their house. 

“Well, I’m glad to see you, they’re just downstairs in Spencer’s room likely waiting for you.” Dylan didn’t tell her that Spencer didn’t know he was coming and though he thought it odd that she said they, he just brushed it off as either an error or one of Spencer’s billet brothers being downstairs with him. He didn’t dwell too long on the thought and bounded down the stairs towards Spencer’s room. Upon seeing that the door was closed, Dylan decided it would be best to surprise Spencer, so without a second thought he burst through the door. What he saw stopped him dead in his tracks, Dylan wasn’t ready for what was waiting for him. On Spencer’s bed was another guy who looked about their age with hickeys placed all up his neck; however, upon further inspection, Dylan recognized the man sat next to Spencer, but he couldn’t quite put a finger on where he knew him from. Luckily, or rather unlucky, through the surprise of what had just happened Spencer introduced him.

“Um hey, Dylan… I wasn’t really expecting you… Anyway, this is Jack, you remember him, right?” Dylan took a second, then it all came flooding back.

*flashback*

Even though they had only spent a little less than a year apart, Dylan felt like so much had changed. Despite his nerves, he walked over to Spencer to say hi and hopefully reconnect a bit; however, as Dylan neared, so did another young man. When Spencer saw Dylan, he waved him over and was quick to pull the other man to his side and plant a kiss on the side of his head. Well, that answered a question Dylan never knew he had.

*flashback*

Awkwardly, Dylan scratched the back of his neck before mustering up a reply,

“Um yeah, he was your boyfriend or something from a couple of years ago.” Despite trying his hardest, Dylan was unable to hide the disdain he felt for the other boy, Jack, in his voice. “Anyway, I don’t want to interrupt whatever’s going on between the two of you, so I’m gonna head out.” Too shocked to say anything else and for fear of not being able to maintain composure, Dylan hurried out of Spencer’s room, out of that whole damned house without listening to what anyone else had to say. Once he got out to his car, at a loss for what to do, he just sat there and let the tears fall.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a basic outline for the general direction I want this story to go, but if you have any suggestions feel free to let me know and I will likely take them into account. 
> 
> Thanks for reading x


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